i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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