no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
