Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Randomize
