Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
