im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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