wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
