dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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