You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Randomize
