I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
