brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
