Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
