How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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