They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
