haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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