She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Can vaginas get frostbite?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
