No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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