If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
