I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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