if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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