dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
