Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
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