I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
