ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
