I don't think brook has ever known best
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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