Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
