I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Randomize
