I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
