Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Randomize
