: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
