TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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