it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
