Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
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