is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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