Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
How external is "for external use only"?
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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