We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
