She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
