come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
