tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
