so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
