So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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