We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
