Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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