I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
