he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
