Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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