Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Randomize
