very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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