Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
