He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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