she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
