Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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