i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
